When I was in 6th grade, I remember going to a flower shop with my mother every week. We would walk into a refrigerated room where we would find row upon row of beautiful flowers of every color and variety. They stood expectantly in buckets of water waiting for gentle hands to pluck them from their murky baths and whisk them off to dining tables, end tables and entry ways. My mother would wander through the rows of foliage, collecting a flower here passing over a flower there until she held in her hands a cacophony of color, she found satisfaction in. The buds would come home with us and sit on a table for us to enjoy until, eventually, they would wilt only to be replaced by a new, fresh bunch the next week.
I had no idea as a middle schooler how much of an impact this simple rhythm would have on me. Now, as an adult with a home of my own, I recognize the significance of those fresh stems and what they taught me about home and hospitality.
These last few years I have embarked on a journey of what hospitality and community mean, the importance of them and how to practice them in your own home. I've practiced the things I've learned, discarded the things that weren't practical and refined the things that were. And as I've wandered this journey, I've revisited the memories forged in the cool fridge of that flower shop. It wasn't just the luxury of being able to purchase the fresh flowers weekly that made them special, it was their tangible reminder of how something so simple could spark beauty and warmth into a home.
Fresh flowers these days can feel expensive, and they are. I've begun growing them in my own garden to be able to cut and enjoy in the summer. But in the winter months, in lieu of being able to afford fresh flowers, is there something else we can be doing that would ignite the same sense of beauty into the spaces we live?
Enter the candle. Whether you prefer your candle heavily scented, as a sturdy pillar behind glass, or in the form of dozens of tea lights scattered around, a candle can immediately infuse a space with warmth and even beauty. There are lots of reasons why a candle is a tool for building community and demonstrating hospitality in your home and we'll look at a few of those in a later blog post; bit for now, it's enough to simply say there is something inviting about a small flickering flame that encourages both friends and strangers in your home, to kick off their shoes, pull up a seat, and share a bit of life with you.
My family loves to burn candles at dinner. It doesn't matter if we're serving boxed mac n cheese or my husband's Italian grandmother's meatballs, we have a scented candle burning nearby. Sometimes, if we're feeling extra fancy, my eldest daughter will dim the lights and we'll enjoy our meal under the candles flickering glow. It doesn't have to be fussy, or showy, expensive or worthy of a pic on Instagram.
So, try it. This week for dinner, light your favorite candle while your family eats and see how it impacts and changes the emotion around the table. Let that candle be the flame your family gathers around.